The three evils of winter

Wind, freezing temps, and no taxi’s…these are the three evils of my winters in Shenyang, China.

They plague me and rob me of my freedom, good attitude, and love towards man kind. What’s a mom of 4 kids to do when stuck outside with the three evils of winter?

Become the woman you never thought you would be! Aggressive. Selfish. Yuck!

One of the things I often notice that is totally different from any experience I have ever had in America is how the Chinese person is aggressive. They have no qualms pushing their way towards the front of the line, cutting in line is normal, perhaps in their mind even clever!

I vowed several days after arriving that I would not use any aggression to get my way.

Yeah right **read that with sarcasm**

That sentiment lasted as long as it took me to realize that I would stand in line forever if I didn’t block someone from cutting in front of me. I need to move quickly, swiftly and occasionally stop the person in back of me from sneaking their veggies over my shoulder and onto the scale!

Sweet hubby of mine, laid back, roll with the punches guy, has even been known to jab an elbow or two out to block someone from cutting in front of him!

After leaving our “annual Christmas present” hotel visit we towed our suitcase, two backpacks, and one pack-n-play, all four kiddos and headed down the block to find a taxi. We immediately experienced the three evils of winter. Wind. Freezing temps. No taxi’s.

Picture it with me. We are on the side of the street, cold wind hitting our faces, taxis, buses, and car loads of people passing us. Chinese people rolling down their windows to look at us, pointing at the children, smiling from ear to ear because they think the kids are so cute to look at. Me, wishing I could drag them out of their car and get in where it’s warm. Why don’t I get my driver’s license? I think for the billionth time.

It went on like this for awhile. We would stick our hand out and try to flag down an empty taxi, the driver would shake his head “no”. We stood by the sign that told us to wait for a taxi here, but no taxi would stop and pick us up. We checked our watches and noted it wasn’t during the taxi driver shift change.

My anger is beginning to simmer. I take my scarf off and wrap it around Daniel’s red cheeks, I ask Peter to get Lily’s out of the backpack and wrap her up too. I scold Jolie for not bringing her hat or scarf with her for the millionth time. Isaac stands by with a big grin on his silly face, he’s pretty proud that he is wearing all his winter gear.

Have I ever told you I don’t like being cold? No doubt if you have hung out with me anytime during the past few winters you have heard me bemoan the woes of winter. I’ve had 37 of them and am ready to go south. I don’t care about the first snowfall being all white and pristine. Trees limbs weighed down by shimmering ice. My heart’s desire is south bound! I’ll look at pictures if I miss it.

Peter and I are debating back and forth. We don’t know if we should cross the street. Wait where we are a little longer. Return to the hotel and ask them to call us a taxi (Why didn’t we do that in the first place?!?!?)

A taxi drops off a passenger and Peter rushes to the door, opens it and gives him our address. The driver points across the street and drives away. Can you imagine the rejection we feel? So close. Yet not close enough. We race across the street while there’s still a chance!

I’m literally pulling Lily by her coat shoulders, good thing it’s thick. Her feet drag on the cement as I desperately try to keep Daniel from sliding down my waist while also getting her across the busy street. (He’s wearing a snowsuit and the material easily slides down my coat.) My grip on him is failing but I have to, I must get across before the next row of cars come! Peter helps, but bless his heart, his arms are also full.The other two race besides us as we try to keep up with the crowd crossing together. I remind myself that all this stressing out over getting a ride home is meaningless.

When will my misery end?

We see an entire row of empty taxis waiting at the light. The light is red–now’s our chance! My spirits are lifted, we walk over now confident we will get a taxi.

One rolls down his window and I tell him our address, he shakes his head “no”.

I’m now at the boiling point and out of desperation yell back in my broken awful Chinese:“We’ve been waiting out here for so long. It’s so cold. You should take us. Take us! Take us!” Just writing that makes me feel pathetic.

I even pout. Like the Chinese women do.

He apologizes and tells me he doesn’t have enough time. Apologizes again and the light turns green, he rolls up his window. Drives away and so does the rest of the empty taxis with their red meter lights that give us false hope of a ride home.

We wait again…and wait…n wait.

Peter and I begin our debate again. Do we stand here, do we cross the street? What about going back to the hotel. Should we go to that corner? Each of us have our opinion. Neither of us know which is the better one to follow.

The three evils of winter are about to crush me.

I’m mad. I’m desperate. I’m frustrated. I’m cold. I get ear aches easily and Daniel has my scarf. Someone should scold me for not wearing my winter hat. But who scolds mom?

Two taxis pull up to the curb, both are dropping off passengers. Peter and I take action.  He carries the heavy pack-n-play and rushes to the first taxi. The driver shakes his head “no” without even hearing where we want to go. Moving on to the second taxi, Peter opens the back door (because there is a man in the front passenger seat)  and tells the driver where we need to go. The driver shakes his head “no”.

I get aggressive. It’s amazing what you find your self doing when the three evils of winter descend upon you. Along with the three evils pushing me forward to actions I never thought myself capable of doing, I want my kids to be warm. I’m tired of feeling desperate. I’m tired of debating with my husband.

I open the passenger door and at the same time holler back at Peter and the kids. “GET IN!”

I tell them I don’t care if the driver said “No” just GET IN. The driver isn’t volunteering to open his hatchback, so I encourage Peter to just shove our suitcases in. Imagine, three kids, a 6 foot tall man, 2 backpacks, and a pack-n-play trying to hurriedly shove themselves into the back of a small sedan. The pack-n-play doesn’t fit.

And then I find myself doing something I can hardly believe. I actually grab the passenger who is trying to pay his fare and pull on his arm sleeve a little. Not too hard, but enough to let him know I am staking my claim on this taxi and want that seat just as soon as his bottom leaves it. Oh my. Gasp! What has become of me?!

He gets up. I slide in quicker than I thought was possible with a child on my lap.

The Chinese passenger is now standing on the curb and asks if he can please have his receipt from the taxi. Oops, I had ushered him out so fast he didn’t have time to get what he needed! Can I claim “mother bear” for this offense?

The driver hands me the receipt I pass it to the ex-passenger and remain seated. While this is happening, Peter opens the hatchback, shoves the pack-n-play in there. I wonder what the driver will do now that I am in the passenger seat, door closed and the kids are squishing themselves in the back.

He amazes me. He asks, “Where to?” I tell him where and off we go.

The driver and I talk about children, America, Spring Festival. I wonder why he told us no in the first place and then yes in the second place, but I don’t ask.

I’m just thankful we are warm and heading home and a little scared at what has become of me.

Do Spirit filled people do this sort of thing?
Am I just following the laws of this culture?
I’m not sure, but I think I would still be waiting at the curb if I hadn’t done what I did.